Human Beings don't listen. We listen to people through a sea of opinions (filters) and not what they say. These filters already exist and always exist. As we were around 2 - 2.5 years old, we started inheriting language and along with it the opinions of that particular culture from the surroundings that we were brought up. This already always listening manifests as an internal little voice that keeps talking something like the following
What we already know to be true constitutes the already always listening. Overtime, our listening gets so automatic that it does not look like we are listening through those filters. It gets hard to distinguish your (lightning quick) interpretation from what is actually said. In a way, we are gripped by these opinions that we formed overtime. This limits us to have complete power, freedom, self-expression, and peace of mind.
Next obvious question is, how do we start listening without these filters? One of the powerful ways to listen is to be aware of the filters moment by moment as we listen. Once we get present to the filter, do not try to change/fix as change causes persistence and no change causes disappearance. Just being aware is enough to distinguish the filter from the what is said. Being aware is possible only through being present.
- This is good / That is bad
- This should happen / That should not happen
- This is right / That is wrong
- How can this happen?
- What is this?
What we already know to be true constitutes the already always listening. Overtime, our listening gets so automatic that it does not look like we are listening through those filters. It gets hard to distinguish your (lightning quick) interpretation from what is actually said. In a way, we are gripped by these opinions that we formed overtime. This limits us to have complete power, freedom, self-expression, and peace of mind.
Next obvious question is, how do we start listening without these filters? One of the powerful ways to listen is to be aware of the filters moment by moment as we listen. Once we get present to the filter, do not try to change/fix as change causes persistence and no change causes disappearance. Just being aware is enough to distinguish the filter from the what is said. Being aware is possible only through being present.
Being present starts with getting present to the degree to which we are not present
We are not present and we are not present that we are not present. Because we are not present we are not listening. In fact, we are so not present that we are not even present to how not present we are.
Yes! I've also been saying this for years, thoough maybe not as eloquently. Well said!
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ReplyDeleteThere is difference between preconceived notion / Already Always Listening
ReplyDeleteand FACTS/Evidence.
Below text reproduced from net, clarifies this:
Preconceived Notion: "It is an idea that one has before reviewing the evidence. It is the notion that one conceived of before getting all the facts. So the words preconceived notion imply that the notion is incorrect, but the person who believes it is probably unaware of that.
Before studying astronomy at school, I had a preconceived notion that the earth is flat and the sky is a dome."
Rajendra Bhatia
Upto few years ago, whenever I met a very rich person, I used to listen within me that, he/she must have used unfair means to become so rich. But having read and seen in actions about the huge wealth created by the world's top 2 richest persons;
ReplyDeleteMr Bill Gates and Warren Buffett thro quite fair means and great sincere and innovative efforts and how they are donating big part of wealth in charities and welfare schemes all over world, my preconceived notions have changed.
Rajendra Bhatia
Very solid, meaningful advice. I'm implementing some of your techniques now. And thanks to Mike Stewart for the referral to your site! http://familyhealthbydesign.org/2019/06/08/thirty-one-years-of-marriage-and-still-in-love/. Nothing lasts like solid relationships.
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